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Shameless attempt at stat-boosting, Post #1

October 7th, 2008 · 16 Comments

Ashton B-Finger

A week or so ago I started checking my website’s Wordpress stats to see how the ol’ girl was doing traffic-wise. What found shocked and annoyed me, being a serious bloggist par excellence: No matter what I had posted on any single day, the page with the most daily hits was always this one about dumb viral marketing strategies. I made that post back in May when PDD was still getting oriented, and I was kind of experimenting with the site. It’s definitely one of my lesser posts, and I’d choose over a lot more stuff to represent the site.

Why was the viral marketing post so popular? When I checked out the major referrers to my site, it was revealed that most people who stumbled upon the post were doing image searches. A quick glance at the search engine terms that led them there revealed the specific terms for which people reading my site were looking.

Here’s some of the top items:
hot dogs
butterfinger
ashton kutcher coolpix
the joker vintage

Jeez. I would’ve been totally cool with it being someone searching for “stupid viral marketing” or “ashton kutcher gay orgy”! But, needless to say, it insults my vast and superior intellect that most of my visitors are just looking for pictures of candy bars.

However, as a fun-time experiment, I want to try to artificially boost my stats by making posts full of highly Googled search terms. Plus, it may give me a chance for me to catch someone doing something silly again. Lez do dis:

Ashton Kutcher Cameron Diaz Butterfinger Las Vegas

Ashton Kutcher Cameron Diaz Sex Sexy Boners Will Smith Gettin’ Jiggy Wit’ It

Butterfinger Simpsons Homer

Butterfinger Babe Ruth Watchamacallit LOL Web 2.0 Porno Paul Bunyan

Milky Way Laguna Beach

Milky Way Hershey’s Laguna Beach Tyrese Facebook Gigabyte Free Episodes

Little Debbie Holocaust

Little Debbie Holocaust Miley Cyrus Free Password Cruise Viagra Squirrel

Jonas Brothers Brazilian Wax

Jonas Brothers Brazilian Wax Lord of the Rings Slim Thug Jewelry

Stephen Hawking Cheap Pest Control

Stephen Hawking Cheap Pest Control Credit Debit Mandingo Birthday Card

By the way, there were a few search terms that got my site some hits that were totally awesome (not joking about these):

gentleman haberdasher
shove a boot in their ass song
dogs dressed up as hot dogs

Tags: News · Stat-boost

16 responses so far ↓

  • 1 thom // Oct 7, 2008 at 9:09 am

    This always happens to my flickr! people search for:
    drink rap
    thizz slang
    rip rap
    city driving download
    rap slang purple
    it’s a rap slang

  • 2 Joel // Oct 7, 2008 at 9:21 am

    ha, who’s searching for “rip rap”?

  • 3 matt // Oct 7, 2008 at 10:03 am

    I’m proud to say that my top 3 are:

    black chick
    black girl
    sex ball

  • 4 Friesen Point // Oct 7, 2008 at 11:16 am

    my top three are
    “best alcoholic drinks fuck you up”
    “alcoholic drink that fuck you up?”, and
    professional beard

    also, i made a post more or less along these lines in june when i was horrified to find out that someone reached my blog after searching for “anthony hopkins fucking.”

  • 5 Joel // Oct 7, 2008 at 11:31 am

    to be honest, if i was looking for a picture of anthony hopkins fucking, i’d probably check friesenpoint first.

  • 6 jack // Oct 7, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    good call on the jo-bros, they will probably bring in lots of traffic

  • 7 Christian BC // Oct 11, 2008 at 11:32 am

    Will someone please tell me how you find out this info?!?!

  • 8 Joel // Oct 12, 2008 at 8:34 pm

    Should be in the Dashboard area of your Wordpress admin page

  • 9 Christian BC // Oct 18, 2008 at 10:33 am

    tanx

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